Quarantine has caused intense isolation. Unfortunately it has also increased anyone’s sense of loneliness or going it alone that was unbearable before COVID restrictions choked off a sense of connection and support.
The first step in breaking up with isolation is understanding that isolation gained its stronghold in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve were deceived by the serpent who convinced them that they “could be like God,” and didn’t need God. Doubting the goodness of God, they choose independence from God and immediately experienced a deep sense of isolation that accompanies going it alone. As a result, Adam and Eve’s perspective of themselves changed and was thereafter based on their performance instead of their identity. They coped with feelings of fear and insecurity by hiding (isolating) from God and each other and the trait was passed down to all of us.
ISOLATION IS A SENSE OR THE REALITY OF BEING ALONE OR ON YOUR OWN, WITHOUT HOPE, WITHOUT HELP, FRIENDS, OR ANYONE WHO CARES.
The lack of meaningful fellowship aches like unwanted cancer in our soul. It is possible to live in isolation without being quarantined. The social distancing that we have had to endure has magnified preexisting unbearable emotional isolation. This skews your self-image and perception of life the way the carnival mirrors distort our image. We start to see ourselves as some caricature that doesn’t exist. After viewing ourselves from an inaccurate perspective, self-loathing starts to creep into our souls. Where there is self-loathing, we hide from people the same way Adam and Eve hid from God and each other.
ISOLATION QUICKLY BECOMES A TRAP. YOU ISOLATE HOPING TO INSULATE YOURSELF FROM MORE REJECTION WHICH FUELS NO ONE “GETS ME.”
When we sense possible rejection or feel vulnerable, we withdraw emotionally and physically. Others, sensing our discomfort, tend to give us “space,” which seems to confirm “I am alone,” or “No one cares.” You are not alone. God demonstrated how much He cares by sending His son. God did not change in the Garden. God was love before they ate the fruit and God was love after they ate the fruit. Their view of themselves changed and they feared God didn’t love them anymore so they hid from Him. But God did not hide Himself from us.
He sent His only Son full of grace and truth to bring you back to Himself so that you would never be alone or on your own again.
There is hope and no need to live in isolation which brings you pain and loneliness. Here are three practical suggestions on how to break up with isolation:
1. FOCUS ON THE LIGHT.
The Light of this World, Jesus Christ, will lead you out of the darkness and give you godly worth and security. Read the book of John and note the lovingkindness of Jesus toward hurting and rejected people.
THROUGH NEW BIRTH, THE HOLY SPIRIT IS YOUR CONSTANT COMPANION, HELPER, AND COMFORTER.
2. ADMIT THAT PEOPLE HAVE FAILED YOU CAUSING PAIN.
Don’t deny the pain and then peek out from behind that pain, hoping someone will notice. Even if they notice, they may not know how to respond. (Maybe they struggle with isolation too.) Grieve emotional pain to release the hurt into God’s healing hands. Confess all the injustices and wrongs to the One who cares about and understands the depths of your soul. As you do, God will bring healing.
RECOGNIZE WHERE YOU ARE PACING AND DISTANCING IN RELATIONSHIPS AND CHOOSE TO GIVE PEOPLE ANOTHER CHANCE BY LETTING DOWN YOUR GUARD AND LETTING THEM INTO YOUR LIFE.
3. REFRAME YOUR THOUGHT PATTERNS.
God said your cup will overflow. Your cup (life) is not half-empty. It is full of the promises of God. Align your thoughts with what God says is true about you and life. As you start including God into your thought life, He will facilitate your breakup with isolation. He establishes you in His joy and peace in Christ Jesus.
NEITHER YOUR PAST, PRESENT, OR YOUR FEELINGS DEFINE YOU, NOR DO THEY CHANGE GOD’S TRUTH ABOUT YOU OR YOUR FUTURE.
Don’t look to others to validate your worth. They are just people with their own stories.
Christ has determined your worth and made you acceptable to God. The cross proves your value and confirms His love.
Receive God’s love and acceptance as a gift, which Christ bought for you. If you are struggling with isolation or are having a hard time connecting with God or others, we can can help you breakup with isolation. Call the Life Center office at 616-241-3433, or email info@lifecentergr.org today. We are excited to walk with you into new freedom and joy.
— Theresa Slabbekoorn